me, myslef and I
more and more... i came to understand myself... I sometimes read in books about how my life works... or at what stage I am now... but come to think of it, i failed to achieve some milestones that needed to be addressed when I was still young...I don't trust people with what and who I am. It is really hard for me to gain understanding. Most of the time, I could be as hard as a rock and not feeling sympathy for the others. I percieve myself to be of no emotion... I still think of the times where I showed anger, fear or even love and happiness. But I came to think that although my heart was at the right stage of emotion, my head kept pulling me back.
Frankly, I am practical... i most of the time just go by with the things that are present of that can be used. Although, I respect people who are idealistic. The mind always tells us what to do, and sometimes, it doesn't feel right... and even at times... when it feels so right, it should never be done...
I might write the things that bother me...because I lack a quality that other people have... something deep that I envy from people... it is their ability to choose... Not the choosing which involves tangible objects... it is the choosing of inherent qualities of people.... As for me, I am last to be chosen, not by my choice but by others.... Someone who is left behind, or last in line, or someone who can be forgotten...
I am not regretting the things that I have done...but I sometimes regret the people I have met.... so far, it always seems a new experience for me to engage in new interactions... at least, I have a clean slate...
posted by Zaki @ 10/19/2006 01:18:00 AM
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